Is it wrong to question your feelings? Am I even questioning my feelings at all? I love Alex with my whole heart, that's a for sure thing, but why do I feel distant from him sometimes? And most of all, why do I consistently - night after night - have dreams about other guys? I honestly think I really do know why.
My body, my mind, my soul - they are deprived of that physical touch.
I mean really, dreams - do they mean anything at all?
I highly doubt it. I think it might have to do with multiple things on my mind. What do I have on my mind? Well obviously making out with Alex. Ha! And since the boys in my dreams are all LCC boys (except for one I think) they must just be on my mind because I see them all the time. So, to put two and two together, I dream about making out with other boys.
That means nothing. I know it can't. I know how I feel about Alex and I know how Alex feels about me. I just hate being apart from him. Some people might say that it is a good thing - and it might be a little because all we can do it talk (like when we're having a disagreement). And of course, we aren't tempted with everything physical. However, there's more to it than that. I think when you are in a relationship, no matter who you are, you need that physical touch. You need hold their hand, you need to hug them, you need to feel that closeness. And I think that is 100% natural. You love that person. You want to be close to them and feel their love for you.
Or maybe that is just me. I don't know but that is how I feel.
If anyone were to ask me for advice about whether to enter into a relationship when they know it is going to be for long distance - my first question would be, how long is it going to be for?
I would definitely say that I have really gotten to know Alex, and he has really gotten to know me. Like the real Alex and the real Megan. I love that. I think way too many people rush into things not even knowing what to expect or what to do. I would say that Alex and I are really, really ready for marriage. We have talked about sex, we have talked about kids, we have talked about debt, we have talked about budgets, we have even gone to see a financial counselor about our debt. Most people don't even think about doing that. (Which is why most all of America has some kind of outstanding debt!)
I am proud of Alex and I.
I think we are a very mature couple and are ready for what is to come in our futures together! I just wish we were together right now. Fall break will come soon enough, though! And hopefully December comes just as quick. Then, we'll never have to say 'goodbye' like we do now. I truly do believe that he is my soul mate though - and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him.
I think we compliment each other very nicely :)
That's all I think I have to say about that. Thank you for listening :) HA! (Sorry for the awkward ending)
Oh and PS! We're going to a Bears game on October 19! WOO!
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2 comments:
It's about freakin time you posted this ditty! :) I think you are a mature couple, as well... praying for you two always!
I think its normal for you to have those feelings. And I agree that we all need the physical touch otherwise you sometimes forget the good things. (If that makes sense). LOL also I can't say I completely understand what you're going through, but know that I will never think you're stupid for feeling the way you do...about anything, not just with Alex. I'm also praying for you!
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